It occurred to me today, as I stepped onto the scales only to find that I’m the same weight as yesterday (I don’t usually weigh myself daily or weekly for that matter but right now, post-Christmas, feeling like I’m 7 months preggo I’m doing it and mainly because I am fascinated in the science experiment that is my body….) that the pause is as important as the progress.
I’m wanting to drop 2Kg in weight not necessarily because of how I look – although I admit to looking more rounded at the mo – but because of how it makes me feel. I have various food intolerance issues and have let thinking and planning for that slip by the wayside over the December due to a combination of tiredness, busy-ness, partying and not wanting to even think about what I was eating. Consequently I’m now heavier and less healthy than I want to be. The weight for me is as much a sign of my guts going into shut-down as it is a logical consequence of consuming more than I expend or can reasonably cope with. I’m not even sure I have consumed too much but anyway…. The net result is feeling sick all day, every day. I’m not sure that people who just put on a couple of pounds feel totally sick too.
So that’s the position I find myself in and on seeing the numbers – the exact same as yesterday- I did come up with this thought. The pause here is that my weight hasn’t gone up or down. It had got stuck (albeit for a day so far). I was momentarily disappointed in that. I sat thinking about this reality for a moment. I wondered how long it might take for the scales to reward me for the work I’d been doing in bypassing croissants and gingerbread in favour of avocado, nuts and tuna salad. I wondered if it matters how long it takes? I concluded that it doesn’t matter that much.
Another thought came to me.
I am often so focused on the end goal that I forget about all the stages in the process and have a tendency to either miss the planning and the pause stage entirely (I can be quite impulsive) or rush it so I can get on with the good stuff.
The planning in this situation was to do with what I was going to eat and how I can make that happen.
The pause here physically is in weight loss but mentally it’s much more than that. I didn’t lose any weight today but what I gained here was a chance to really think about my life and the care I take of myself. To feel like I’ve created a space.
I remembered why this mattered to me long-term and all the ways that rushing and stressing were counter-productive to my long-term health goals.
My mind shifted towards this being a metaphor for life in general.
I realise that the most important part of any action is not only to busy ourselves with the plan and the practicalities of the situation but to also take the time to pause where we are and to shuffle around there until we create ourselves a safe and firm base. Holding firm, standing strong, securing our position, creating room to rest, reflect and grow.
I conjure up an image of an army base where no matter what happens on the field the troupes can come back and rest safe in the knowledge that all-being-well they won’t go backwards from here.
I’m feeling grateful for having been reminded of that today even if it did take something that I regard as a pretty silly thing for me to do to bring it to my attention.
My motto for today is: Pause, embed your Plan and Progress will follow.
Vive le pause 🙂