I was looking through the stuff that’s stuck to my fridge, getting rid of old school notes and making room for the new when I came to this. I remember exactly why I chose to cut and paste these words from the internet, what prompted the googling and what conversations this document framed. Sometimes when the bickering gets a bit much in a family you need a fridge list to refer to!
Looking at it again now and re-reading each point I notice that I’ve had people try to negotiate me out of my feelings in the last couple of weeks too, it’s actually quite common, especially when you tend to be a questioner rather than a quiet follower. A common tack (and the one I experienced recently) is for the other party to try to insinuate that it is your fault that you didn’t understand, or that you don’t know something as ‘all of the information was available to you’. Empathy, patience and a listening ear would have been a more emotionally mature response.
Let us not be the person that shames others into silence.
We should not Order people to feel differently:
Smile. Be happy. Cheer up Lighten up. Get over it. Grow up Get a life Don’t cry. Don’t worry. Don’t be sad. Stop whining Stop laughing.. Don’t get angry Deal with it. Give it a rest. Forget about it. Stop complaining. Don’t be so dramatic. Don’t be so sensitive. Stop being so emotional.Stop feeling sorry for yourself
Stop taking everything so personally
People should not Order you to “look” differently
Don’t look so sad. Don’t look so smug. Don’t look so down. Don’t look like that. Don’t make that face. Don’t look so serious. Don’t look so proud of yourself. Don’t look so pleased with yourself.
We should take care not to Deny Your Perception, Defending
You’ve got it all wrong. But of course I respect you. But I do listen to you. That is ridiculous (nonsense, totally absurd, etc.) I was only kidding. That’s not the way things are. That’s not how things are. I honestly don’t judge you as much as you think. It’s not going to happen