The desire to write

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Scripturient

I love to write and so when this word came into my online life yesterday I just had to share it with you, I hope you don’t mind.

While writing is a passion and something that I can’t live without I have a love-hate relationship with the world of words. I struggle with the grammar of it all and find some of our lovely English words unfathomable in terms of spelling.

Embarrassingly some of the words I struggle with are relatively simple and have led to me changing my sentence structure to avoid the virtual ‘tut, tutting’ of those less spell-icularly challenged than me. I used to be so scared to write for fear of the criticism that might ensue and my ability to cope with that degree of negativity.  I even lost a whole grade at A Level because of my spelling – a B became a C, woe is me……

I feel grateful that got over that fear just before my head got crushed under the weight of  a waterfall of un-written words. I can’t imagine not writing now.

I still struggle, though not as much – practice is a funny thing. It doesn’t make perfect but it does make you better. I am getting better. As for the fear of judgement well that has all but gone now too. I try, I listen, I learn, I change, I am learning to pause.  I can’t ask any more than that, not yet.

Another thing that I both love and hate words for is the power that they hold.  The pen is mightier than the sword and sometimes I’d be better off with a sword I think……

A clumsy selection of words, a poorly thought out turn of phrase, a renegade paragraph that spins you into a frenzy, a word written before thought.  Aaahhh the mine field that lurks beneath that clean white sheet.

When talking about the power of words I am also reminded that this is a world wrapped up in masculine power. That the Scripturient wrote ‘his-story’ and that story shaped the modern world. I am mindful of that and in particularly the way that information passed via the written word sometimes misses out on the sensual, the subtle, the free, the moment.

But through this tussle between love and hate I find myself sitting with a bucket full of inspiration and words just waiting to get out.

Scripturient. A passion to write.

By Jove I think she’s got it.

Amanda x

 

 

 

 

 

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